Since then the quakes have not stopped and they are still continuing, although many not felt by us. Sunday morning we were woken by a magnitude 5.5 quake. It's epicentre was the same location as previous and again, it was shallow. This time we knew there would be aftershocks and Sunday evening it happened. A magnitude 6.5 shake which was again shallow. It was, I think the most frightening experience I have ever had. It was awful and scary. It seemed to go on for a while and felt as though it was intensifying in strength all the while. By this time I was feeling the fear. I couldn't, and still cant help but dwell on the fact that the bigger quakes seem to be getting bigger!
Monday morning came and the authorities asked people to stay out of the city so that buildings could be checked etc. Public transport had also ground to a halt. So, Monday was an enforced day at home. Faced with this situation what is a girl to do? That's right ... I figured since I couldn't go to work due to earthquakes, it would be a good time to jump on the small step ladder and clean the inside of some windows and wash the nets! LoL. Oh shut up ... I know! Not my finest hour.
Tuesday morning public transport had returned to normal and we were given the go ahead to re-enter our building. With much trepidation about re-entering the city in case another quake should hit I went to my car to leave for work and ... Nothing! Dead battery! This, I did not need on top of the stress and fear I was already feeling. I made it to work and discovered there were no elevators in operation.
It was a nervous and stressful week for everyone and also having to use the stairs for the majority of the week added to the feeling of things not being normal, as well has having contractors around repairing minor damage.
On top of everything else, I was also stressing over an appointment I was meant to have last week that needed to be cancelled and still also worried whether my car battery would keep loosing charge on me or not. Thankfully, so far it has been behaving since we charged it.
It was a strange week at work in many ways. Everyone was still fearful and talking about the quake and it didn't help that they were continuing. Most unnoticed by us but we kept feeling the ground move every now and then. There were also other events which occurred which were unusual. I also had to provide support and a shoulder to a colleague who was having a particularly tough day and became emotional.
All of this means that I have been feeling wrung out and scared. I am still very fearful. These quakes are continuing as I write.
Ok ... now that I've bored you with the vanilla details LOL I will get to the part of the story you came here for :)
I have been feeling like a tightly wound ball of emotion recently. It feels as though my emotions are there bubbling under the surface waiting to spill over at any moment. Thinking about it, I think I've been feeling like this since we heard of Bas' passing. We have talked about this and also wonder whether it is attributable to the increased vulnerability that comes with this lifestyle.
Helping my colleague last week left me feeling emotional. It was as though I was taking on her emotions. Rick took me to lunch that day and we had a lovely time together. I told him I felt silly for feeling so soppy. Why am I like this etc. He told me he loved that I had reached out to someone and that I had cared and what he saw was a very feminine woman who he loved.
Last night Rick decided after the trying week it was time to get back to normal. Role affirmation was therefore called for. I responded with my usual
Rick came into the room, walked over to me and started stroking my hair. He told me how he loves my submission to him and that I belong to him etc. He then stood me up, stepped back and looked at me. After gesturing for me to turn around, whereupon he landed a couple of swats for good measure, he told me he was inspecting what was his, and that he liked what he saw.
Hmm, lets weigh you
WTF? No way!! (I didn't actually say this of course. I'm not that stupid!)
Where are the scales
He retrieved the scales put them in front of me and told me to hop on.
Lets put an end to this nonsense
I have been complaining for a while that I feel that I have been bad with snacking and not eating as healthily this year and that I was putting on weight. Well, according to the scales ... no extra pounds .. yippee! I thought that was a very brave move on his part. I it could have gone either way! I told him so afterwards and said You must have been fairly sure of the outcome. He teased me that had if have gone the other way he would have lied, but then that yes he had been sure. He knows what he sees.
There. I don't want to hear anymore of this nonsense
After that he led me to the bed and gently pushed me down.
Right. Lets turn that pretty little bottom pink
With that he retrieved the leather paddle. I don't know what it is with this paddle but for some reason I don't seem to tolerate it like I used to. He started with hard swats straight away. It didn't take long before tears were threatening. He paused and gently said "tears are good" before resuming another set. In short order the tears stated. He stretched out next to me
Tears are good. Let it out baby girl. That's it
With that the tears really started and he threw down the paddle and rubbed my back. All the while encouraging me to cry it out. He then pulled me onto his lap and cradled and shushed me.
I'm scared Daddy
I know baby. What? Bas? Earthquakes?
Earthquakes I think. I dunno
I'm here baby
The spanking was very quick. I think we both knew that it wouldn't take much for my emotions to spill over. The time on his lap talking afterwards was wonderful and intimate. He told me that his aim had been to get me to release some of the emotion and we did some more talking. We don't spank for stress release or relief. Although this was essentially for role affirmation, I think it was also our first release spanking.
To those of you on contacted me over the last week via email or chat. I would like to thank you for the bottom of my heart. Knowing you were thinking of us and your well wishes meant so much and was a great comfort to me.